


[Podfic] What I Used to Be | written by thepinupchemist

by Tipsy_Kitty



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Audio Format: M4B, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Dissociation, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Sex, Family, Forced Pregnancy, Healing, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Kid Fic, Knotting, M/M, Mates, Mating, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Nesting, Omega Bucky Barnes, Omega Verse, Panic Attacks, Podfic, Podfic Length: 10-15 Hours, Post Mpreg, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Steve Rogers, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Recovery, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-20 05:58:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8238499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tipsy_Kitty/pseuds/Tipsy_Kitty
Summary: When the police uncover a hidden sub-basement in the home of criminal Alexander Pierce and find a tortured omega and his three pups, they bring them to the Stark Omega Clinic, a non-profit dedicated to rehabilitating traumatized omegas.After dark in September 2005, fourteen year old Bucky Barnes vanished. Eleven years and three pups later, he is far from the boy that went missing from a suburban neighborhood outside of Denver.Steve Rogers is an alpha of some means. When he came into money, he decided to use what he had for good and sign up as a candidate to be a support alpha for his close friend Tony's charitable clinic. When he takes on the task of helping reintegrate Bucky and his pups into the world, he doesn't expect to fall so hard.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [What I Used To Be](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6915553) by [thepinupchemist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepinupchemist/pseuds/thepinupchemist). 



> **Author's Notes:**
> 
> Some things to note:  
> -I have tagged as much as I could think of, but if there's something that needs to be tagged please let me know  
> -The fic is all about recovery and is more fluffy than I made it sound  
> -I did not intentionally base this off of the book/movie Room, which I have neither read nor seen, but I have been told there are numerous similarities
> 
> Title of the fic comes from the song Wasteland by Woodkid.
> 
>  **Reader's Notes:** Thanks to thepinupchemist for giving me permission to record this! I'm working on a couple of longer projects at the moment, so I'm posting this as a WIP.
> 
>  **Update** It's complete! I've compiled an audiobook but individual chapters are still available in mp3/m4b/streaming. Thanks to everybody who listened along the way.

## Complete Audiobook

  * Mediafire: [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/8yiwma1tlzrz6hb/What_I_Used_to_Be.m4b)
  * **Size:** 297MB | **Duration:** 10:38:58 

  
  
---  
  
## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/hzz3em9xzfdq9nm/WIUTB-Chapter_1.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/sdfy8i0y60e8z6u/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_1.m4b)
  * **Size:** 19MB | 9MB | **Duration:** 0:20:20 

  
---


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Reader's Note:** Hey, so, I'm kinda assuming that if you're listening to this you've read the fic, or at least the author's tags/warnings, but there's some rough stuff ahead. There's lots of fluff to come but a significant amount of horror as well. Thepinupchemist has included additional warnings on each chapter of this fic if you have concerns.

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/4ydbgv5bn6gtwdl/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_2.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/dwvd5gp5gbuedr1/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_2.m4b)
  * **Size:** 19MB | 10MB | **Duration:** 0:21:04 




	3. Chapter 3

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/9u39tii7vp9ishp/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_3.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/1mdd5q5mm1b4a7p/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_3.m4b)
  * **Size:** 18MB | 9MB | **Duration:** 0:19:30 




	4. Chapter 4

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/zef36s7h8p3p5z6/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_4.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/9swwh28u6szh8ig/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_4.m4b)
  * **Size:** 15MB | 8MB | **Duration:** 0:16:38 




	5. Chapter 5

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/d3paj9gpnhjthv3/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_5.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/cal431vbfacteyg/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_5.m4b)
  * **Size:** 30MB | 15MB | **Duration:** 0:32:54 




	6. Chapter 6

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/m4lcpvbaczvxyc8/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_6.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/hivfm37daxfoq3m/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_6.m4b)
  * **Size:** 13MB | 6MB | **Duration:** 0:13:52 




	7. Chapter 7

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/bvkjf6a9r1d2sab/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_7.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/y4lrluqfpf53mxg/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_7.m4b)
  * **Size:** 17MB | 9MB | **Duration:** 0:18:30 




	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, sorry you guys, my voice is really rough in this one. I think I was having an allergy issue when I recorded it.

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/jt4ub9i6ur81c4m/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_8.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/hay76o31khezsjp/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_8.m4b)
  * **Size:** 24MB | 12MB | **Duration:** 0:25:57 




	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Reader's Note:** Hey guys, this one's pretty dark. Reminder that thepinupchemist has included additional warnings and notes on the chapters in the fic.

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/bvwhw44sszldwu7/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_9.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/rzvs0sc9xczn5tp/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_9.m4b)
  * **Size:** 23MB | 12MB | **Duration:** 0:25:39 




	10. Chapter 10

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/8a2wdkty1yksi2h/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_10.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/na8s1vdi7r6g7jt/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_10.m4b)
  * **Size:** 18MB | 9MB | **Duration:** 0:20:00 




	11. Chapter 11

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/vfbsxsbcwwm72tx/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_11.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/j390s4bvwgkcfpf/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_11.m4b)
  * **Size:** 24MB | 12MB | **Duration:** 0:25:54 




	12. Chapter 12

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/u998y355iund933/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_12.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/matb78b3z6t5xyt/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_12.m4b)
  * **Size:** 21MB | 10MB | **Duration:** 0:22:25 




	13. Chapter 13

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/x66icw6jf5xwdkr/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_13.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/nali5rzsh3hay99/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_13.m4b)
  * **Size:** 26MB | 13MB | **Duration:** 0:27:56 




	14. Chapter 14

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/dryrcima2mztcmz/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_14.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/rqoog7xi52wl12o/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_14.m4b)
  * **Size:** 26MB | 13MB | **Duration:** 0:28:31 




	15. Chapter 15

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/gadtni1vhbnxddp/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_15.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/4mpfprap0ygioie/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_15.m4b)
  * **Size:** 24MB | 12MB | **Duration:** 0:26:36 




	16. Chapter 16

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/1omdpp8i1oq1c8j/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_16.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/b3l2cs2ypm2l1m0/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_16.m4b)
  * **Size:** 19MB | 9MB | **Duration:** 0:20:25 




	17. Chapter 17

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/oyt8a511gok75eu/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_17.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/nawxy3rb8213s4a/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_17.m4b)
  * **Size:** 26MB | 13MB | **Duration:** 0:28:05 




	18. Chapter 18

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/3dbbd5asd34rsft/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_18.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/leb2uhvxbb0cb7d/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_18.m4b)
  * **Size:** 27MB | 13MB | **Duration:** 0:29:02 




	19. Chapter 19

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/61walh4tww2dx4g/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_19.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/b2l6j36zgfidf3s/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_19.m4b)
  * **Size:** 23MB | 12MB | **Duration:** 0:25:22 




	20. Chapter 20

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/18i5nj80pbsmdg2/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_20.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/hmsh6hrhusfbv1b/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_20.m4b)
  * **Size:** 31MB | 15MB | **Duration:** 0:33:32 




	21. Chapter 21

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/vkkq0ukea0bhx9m/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_21.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/p1rdhzcebl4r60t/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_21.m4b)
  * **Size:** 16MB | 8MB | **Duration:** 0:17:49 




	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, excuses, etc., plus I had to re-record half the chapter because SCREW YOU CICADAS! 
> 
> (Seriously, I don't know what madness convinced me I could noise-gate out the screaming waves of insects that descended on my neighborhood this spring.)

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/f8u3slmx35e2ycg/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_22.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/aigdeywzuh5s7d2/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_22.m4b)
  * **Size:** 52MB | 26MB | **Duration:** 0:56:41 




	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was slightly re-edited as, *cough* it was brought to my attention that my first attempt at a New Year's countdown was 'creepy' and "OMG IT'S THE CHILDREN OF THE CORN"  
> Which, true :D  
> 

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/an71mrb211d66i9/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_23%282%29.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/p1s2cdg4pdtnv0r/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_23%282%29.m4b)
  * **Size:** 28MB | 14MB | **Duration:** 0:30:32 




	24. Chapter 24

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/bf2eyf5azihuf3e/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_24.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/o0at4jeqjictx8b/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_24.m4b)
  * **Size:** 23MB | 11MB | **Duration:** 0:24:48 




	25. Chapter 25

## Streaming

## Downloads

  * Mediafire: [mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/s7tsld9msql4sta/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_25.mp3) | [m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/6eer9ozcsuatwrd/What_I_Used_to_Be_Chapter_25.m4b)
  * **Size:** 20MB | 10MB | **Duration:** 0:24:48 




End file.
